Unposted Letters : Do forgive me someday

Often it happens, what is want to say to someone – remains unsaid. That silence and mum for years builds up in our hearts and minds. Here is a series of “Unposted Letters” which will feature emotions – feelings – thoughts of people who have something to say.

Dearest Antara,

I have been meaning to write this letter to you for the last eight years but every time I put paper to pen guilt got the better of me and I couldn’t write a single line.

We worked together for two years and all this while I never understood why you were always in a rush to go home from work. I always thought, “What was the big deal if you had left your one-year-old daughter at home with a maid?” I thought that did not allow you to skip your responsibilities at work and find some pretext or other to leave office early when all of us were slogging it out late into the night.

Although age-wise you were older to me but I used my senior position to tell you at times to stay back like all of us. I knew this annoyed you.

At that time, since I was not a mother, I never realized how hard it must have been for you to leave your precious child all alone with a maid and come to work.

I remember we even got into an altercation about this once when our boss, who understood your predicament better since he was a father of two, very tactfully ironed out our differences telling me it was not easy to do the balancing act between motherhood and a career. I never understood then. I thought you took an equally good pay pack home so you needed to put in equal number of hours at work like all of us.

I never realized that you time-managed well enough to meet the deadline while all of us, who had husbands coming home late or were single, spent quite a lot of time in the cafeteria, in the smoking room, at coffee breaks and then stayed on late  at work to make up for lost time.

I hope you will be able to forgive me one day. Today I am a mother and I precisely know what you felt every minute you spent in office. I am sure your daughter occupied your thoughts all the time and you were worried if the maid was feeding her, bathing her and keeping a watch on her properly.

Now I realise how brave you were to have come to work every day with a smiling face and perform to your best. Today I feel sad that I created such a fuss about your leaving early. I guess this much of support you deserved from your colleagues.

I remember when my son was a year-old all the paranoia I went through when I got a new maid. By then I had given up my job because I wanted to be at home with him, but when I went to the bathroom while my son was asleep I locked the front door because I feared my new maid, whom I hardly knew, might run away with my sleeping child. Then I thought of you and instantly knew the fears that you locked in your heart every day.

Hope you will be able to forgive me one day.


Guest post by Amrita

31 thoughts on “Unposted Letters : Do forgive me someday

  1. A truely wonderful letter my dear…there’s nothing like living in someone else’s skin to understand a different view…and create wisdom.

  2. Pingback: Unposted Letters : Do forgive me someday | Ta hendene til din kjære – se på dem og hold dem hardt Disse hendene skal du følge, leie og lede. Du skal få føle på varmen fra dem og kjenne en inderlig glede. De skal stryke deg og de skal holde rundt d

  3. Amrita, this is so beautiful. I hope the recipient received it in real life, it is such a kind gesture. How many of us go back and apologize? It was so nice of you to have written this thoughtful letter.

  4. reali touching..
    I truely appreciate women who have been trying to have work-life balance. and successfully managing different roles and responsibilities in their life.

  5. Hmnnn….Humility spiced up with thoughtfulness ….. Please accept my nomination for the SWEET BLOGGING AWARD. Please cruise 🙂 to my blog for the details of the award. Congratulations….keep cruising 🙂

  6. Honesty is a beautiful thing and it is still better late than never. You are to be congratulated for acknowledging how our attitudes change with new learnings. And you are teaching others the lessons! A beautiful thing!

  7. Hi Sakshi! It has been long since we conversed. I was huddled in my own world of blogging, writing, reading and what-not! Anyway, I am back to normal, and following your blog with glee! 😀

  8. Pingback: Unposted Letters : Do forgive me someday | Phoenissa Rising

  9. Good to see your piece. I once wrote a post on the weekly photo challenge Thankful – the gist is parenthood makes us better people. You lose the single minded focus on your life and start looking around at others as human beings and not just competitors, neighbours et al. So,we have much to thank our kids for.

  10. Hi Sakshi!
    I have been working on my own stuff through email & documents on health & just staying busy. I do love the letter you posted here about your feelings & the sorrow you feel through each day you worked & now while you are at home. Protection is good, but overprotecting can cause a lot of problems later on. You need to trust & if needed, take walks & go places with your son & leave the maid to work in the house. Trust is all you have. If don’t trust your maid, then your emotions will go crazy which may make you crazy too. give time to your son & do things naturally for him & yourself while your husband is away. It will guarantee a good relationship with all so you don’t get too anxious like I was & worry a lot. If you have time, come & read my new posts I have which will help you with learning about how to control your worries & stress you put on yourself. Exercise is so good for the things you do for the day!

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