Unposted Letters : Do forgive me someday

Often it happens, what is want to say to someone – remains unsaid. That silence and mum for years builds up in our hearts and minds. Here is a series of “Unposted Letters” which will feature emotions – feelings – thoughts of people who have something to say.

Dearest Antara,

I have been meaning to write this letter to you for the last eight years but every time I put paper to pen guilt got the better of me and I couldn’t write a single line.

We worked together for two years and all this while I never understood why you were always in a rush to go home from work. I always thought, “What was the big deal if you had left your one-year-old daughter at home with a maid?” I thought that did not allow you to skip your responsibilities at work and find some pretext or other to leave office early when all of us were slogging it out late into the night.

Although age-wise you were older to me but I used my senior position to tell you at times to stay back like all of us. I knew this annoyed you.

At that time, since I was not a mother, I never realized how hard it must have been for you to leave your precious child all alone with a maid and come to work.

I remember we even got into an altercation about this once when our boss, who understood your predicament better since he was a father of two, very tactfully ironed out our differences telling me it was not easy to do the balancing act between motherhood and a career. I never understood then. I thought you took an equally good pay pack home so you needed to put in equal number of hours at work like all of us.

I never realized that you time-managed well enough to meet the deadline while all of us, who had husbands coming home late or were single, spent quite a lot of time in the cafeteria, in the smoking room, at coffee breaks and then stayed on late  at work to make up for lost time.

I hope you will be able to forgive me one day. Today I am a mother and I precisely know what you felt every minute you spent in office. I am sure your daughter occupied your thoughts all the time and you were worried if the maid was feeding her, bathing her and keeping a watch on her properly.

Now I realise how brave you were to have come to work every day with a smiling face and perform to your best. Today I feel sad that I created such a fuss about your leaving early. I guess this much of support you deserved from your colleagues.

I remember when my son was a year-old all the paranoia I went through when I got a new maid. By then I had given up my job because I wanted to be at home with him, but when I went to the bathroom while my son was asleep I locked the front door because I feared my new maid, whom I hardly knew, might run away with my sleeping child. Then I thought of you and instantly knew the fears that you locked in your heart every day.

Hope you will be able to forgive me one day.

Amrita

Guest post by Amrita

Did you do your homework?

Most of us relate to homework with school.

Door Bell.
Mom opens the door to a bunch of kids who ask if their friend can play with them.

Mom calls out his son. Asks if he finished homework and makes a decision of letting him play based on that crucial answer.

Indeed. Like many kids, even I have made excuses like, yea mom I finished – even though it wasn’t. Or told her I’ll come back and do it, even though I know I’ll be too tired and eventually I’ll be rushing through it in the morning before school bus arrives.

As a pre-teen I dint know how long this habit or culture of homework will last.

I know now.

I never stops.

It keeps coming and keeps coming.

And if you feel you got no homework, think again.

Homework

Homework culture was inculcated in school life, according to my understanding, so that students can revise what they studied in school that day, and maybe use it to think further i.e. extending the boundaries of logic/reasoning/thinking.

Though most students argue, this is unnecessary, and many countries even execute such rules of “no-homework”.

But don’t the elders or policy makers of such states realize what inactivity they are pushing the younger ones into? With a habit of no homework, how will one to learn the art of retaining information and reproducing it whenever necessary? How will one learn that a basic equation or logic can fit into more than one things? How will the younger generation be pushed to think out of the box?

To give an example, will an entrepreneur have no homework? Will he not come back home and think/note his daily learning? Will he not make a mental account of the data he processed the entire day?

Or will a manager not recall after going home, about the deals he signed or the papers he filed or the people he dealt with?

The thinking process after coming home initiates a lot of healthy thought process. Some conscious and some sub-conscious. If I can go back home today and recall the mistakes I made, most likely, I will not repeat those mistakes.

See how it works –

  • I think of my mistake.
  • I track back my path, what led to what. (which will require remembering past events too)
  • I make a mental note that there issues led to a bad decision.
  • Then think why did those things happen? What led to them?
  • Reach the major root causes.

The next time any of those causes or any scenarios which can lead to those come up, I will be mentally prepared with an algorithm. That now this can happen and then this can happen – which happened last time too – which eventually led to that loss or wrong decision.

So this time, I will take an alternate path to do my work. I will ensure the same mistake is not repeated because I remember where it led to last time. And because I did not cease to do my homework.

Take another example, imagine if doctors don’t do their homework. If they don’t recognize us the next time we meet them. Or worst case – they are not able to cure us because they cant remember what our symptoms mean! Probably if a doctor sees a peculiar case or a new symptom, he would go read/research about it or consult fellow doctors. But if he doesn’t do his homework – doesn’t consult nor any research, imagine the risk on patient’s health.

So not only doing homework, doing it timely is also important. And that is a habit developed in us during our tender years in school. Maybe we shrug at helping the kids around us to do their homework, or let them go easy if they don’t, but it the long run it will leave a negative impact on their personality.

Additionally, it is important matured people do their homework too. Maybe its just a lazy office job, maybe its just a cooking lesson, maybe its just a walk or a chat with a neighbor which happened that day, revise it in your head before sleeping. Take a small note of something you casually noticed but dint feel important that time. Think about your right and wrong decisions.

Most likely, it will help you sometime somewhere someday.

P.S :

In near future (April end) I am writing a series of “un-posted letters” on my blog and inviting guest posts for the same.

The compilation of this would have letters you never posted…the ones you wrote/wanted to write to your mother/teacher/neighbor/boss/husband/friend/ex but did not.. There is no need for names, you can address them to “an inspiring soul” or “a long lost friend” or “love of my life”..

Leave a comment in case you’re interested to be a part of this.