Unposted Letters : Do forgive me someday

Often it happens, what is want to say to someone – remains unsaid. That silence and mum for years builds up in our hearts and minds. Here is a series of “Unposted Letters” which will feature emotions – feelings – thoughts of people who have something to say.

Dearest Antara,

I have been meaning to write this letter to you for the last eight years but every time I put paper to pen guilt got the better of me and I couldn’t write a single line.

We worked together for two years and all this while I never understood why you were always in a rush to go home from work. I always thought, “What was the big deal if you had left your one-year-old daughter at home with a maid?” I thought that did not allow you to skip your responsibilities at work and find some pretext or other to leave office early when all of us were slogging it out late into the night.

Although age-wise you were older to me but I used my senior position to tell you at times to stay back like all of us. I knew this annoyed you.

At that time, since I was not a mother, I never realized how hard it must have been for you to leave your precious child all alone with a maid and come to work.

I remember we even got into an altercation about this once when our boss, who understood your predicament better since he was a father of two, very tactfully ironed out our differences telling me it was not easy to do the balancing act between motherhood and a career. I never understood then. I thought you took an equally good pay pack home so you needed to put in equal number of hours at work like all of us.

I never realized that you time-managed well enough to meet the deadline while all of us, who had husbands coming home late or were single, spent quite a lot of time in the cafeteria, in the smoking room, at coffee breaks and then stayed on late  at work to make up for lost time.

I hope you will be able to forgive me one day. Today I am a mother and I precisely know what you felt every minute you spent in office. I am sure your daughter occupied your thoughts all the time and you were worried if the maid was feeding her, bathing her and keeping a watch on her properly.

Now I realise how brave you were to have come to work every day with a smiling face and perform to your best. Today I feel sad that I created such a fuss about your leaving early. I guess this much of support you deserved from your colleagues.

I remember when my son was a year-old all the paranoia I went through when I got a new maid. By then I had given up my job because I wanted to be at home with him, but when I went to the bathroom while my son was asleep I locked the front door because I feared my new maid, whom I hardly knew, might run away with my sleeping child. Then I thought of you and instantly knew the fears that you locked in your heart every day.

Hope you will be able to forgive me one day.

Amrita

Guest post by Amrita

Unposted Letters : to the one who stole my childhood

Often it happens, what is want to say to someone – remains unsaid. That silence and mum for years builds up in our hearts and minds. Here is a series of “Unposted Letters” which will feature emotions – feelings – thoughts of people who have something to say.

I met you when I was only a child, and was drawn to you.

You were well known and greatly respected in your chosen field. I was delighted to be “liked” by you, and enjoyed the extra support and encouragement you gave me.

You were my coach, my mentor.

In time you became more important to me than my parents, family or friends.

I was happy to be around you, to babysit for you, to have extra training with you.

You were using me. Creating a friendship built on a lie. After one year you made your move. Within weeks you had enveloped me in a giant net, from which I could not escape.

I was too young to understand. I did not have the courage to ask for help.

My friends deserted me.

My reaction to my distress, shame and hurt at what was happening, caused me to become withdrawn at home. My mom and dad could not reach me. Even surrounded by brothers and sisters and loving parents, I was alone.

You had succeeded in your mission.

As I grew up you tightened the noose. You stalked me. Trying to control every moment of my day from a distance.

However you made one miscalculation. I was not as weak as you thought. A combination of my mothers steely nature and my fathers quiet strength, allowed me to break free.

And then I came looking for you.

I discovered many more who were also looking.

You ran, escaping to a faraway country. The news broke. My family struggled. Unwelcome notoriety came knocking on our door. Others took up the call and went looking for you.

A legal loophole stopped us. You can stay where you are.

Some may say we never got justice.

I say that I am well and happy. You took my childhood but that is only a few short years, I have reclaimed my life.

I am glad I will never again see you.

I will never forget what you took from me, nor will I ever forgive you.

But you no longer control my life.

You cannot say that about your own life. You have to be ever watchful. Because wherever you go we find you.

As I hug my husband and hold my children close, I smile and think of you.

Abandoned by your family, pursued by press and authorities with ever increasing financial difficulties.

You are living the life you deserve.

I am writing this letter to let you know,

I too am living the life I deserve!

Guest post by Tric

Unposted Letters : I married your Mom!

Often it happens, what is want to say to someone – remains unsaid. That silence and mum for years builds up in our hearts and minds. Here is a series of “Unposted Letters” which will feature emotions – feelings – thoughts of people who have something to say.

To My Dear Maya

I and your Mom tied a knot
God’s blessings since we got (you)
you walked into life of mine
brought joy to redefine 
giggled with silver shine
my life got new beguiling (charm)
I vowed to your beginning
I will be there for you never bother
fear not my angel I am your father
I will stand by you as mother
fear not my daughter I am your father

love you Maya

 Dad
place New Delhi date (03.02.2013)

Guest Post by : Raam Iyer

Unposted Letters : some love stories…

Often it happens, what is want to say to someone – remains unsaid. That silence and mum for years builds up in our hearts and minds. Here is a series of “Unposted Letters” which will feature emotions – feelings – thoughts of people who have something to say.

Some love stories are remarked as beautiful
praised for their elegance
Some love is noble and well intended
and then there is love that is marked
by its reckless but unashamed, divine nature
it reaches parts of you, so many parts
so quickly, it does things to your body,
it enflames
affects you in a way that makes you want to cry
out of pity for the loves that never had a chance
to live
so it could never die
pity for those that despite their good intentions
could not budge the sword out of the stone
of your cold sleeping heart
that despite their good intentions
fail to see you for the wild ugly beast you are
a blue bristled lion
an ambling, roaring phoenix
real love is marked and it marks you
and it doesn’t matter how hard you run
the faster you run
the faster it catches up with you
To stare into your eyes…

Guest post writer : Aaron David

Unposted Letters : Dearest Mom

Often it happens, what is want to say to someone – remains unsaid. That silence and mum for years builds up in our hearts and minds. Here is a series of “Unposted Letters” which will feature emotions – feelings – thoughts of people who have something to say.

Mom,

When I sat down to write this I thought about writing a thank you , I love you, and will miss you note. While all those are true, and go without saying, I find myself at a loss for words ,which doesn’t happen very often.

I laughed, realizing how appropriate it is, for both of us that clarity is now the dish served cold. On second thought it is presumptuous of me to assume that your clarity is as stone cold. I would be selling you short if I lumped your seemingly endless capacity to take a hit in with my new found acceptance of who I was and why I was so happy.

It’s important that you understand – you make me happy. My thank you is for making me different. For opening my eyes, for making me think, question and imagine. You planted a little seed, so long ago. Sometimes you forgot to water it, sometimes it almost died, in the end, your kindness patience, and nurturing paid off. It took most of a lifetime, yet it finally bloomed.

You had so many dreams. You pictured your life differently. You had no idea you were going to grow the perfect flower. Thank you for making me bloom, for creating something special. We’re so much alike. We’ve both made mistakes that at times crush us with their weight. I forgive you, as you have forgiven me. What’s more important is I’ve forgiven myself; you have to do the same. You need to know that there is at least one person who understands all your dusty little corners. You need to know how beautiful they are when the sunlight hits them. I doubt what I have become would have been possible without your dust bunnies in my flower pot.

Thank you for stumbling and picking yourself up. Thank you for getting a little crazy at times, and for never going completely mad. Thank you for standing by me at the darkest of times, and believing I would pull through. Thank you for hardly ever rolling your eyes when I talk politics or aliens. Thank you for teaching me that Red Winged Blackbirds only nest in bulrushes. You planted a magic bean, instead of a beanstalk, you grew me.

I couldn’t be happier. I’m going to miss you so much. I can’t imagine life without you nearby.

Guest post writer : Notes-to-Ponder

Unposted Letters : To someone I knew years ago…

Often it happens, what is want to say to someone – remains unsaid. That silence and mum for years builds up in our hearts and minds. Here is a series of “Unposted Letters” which will feature emotions – feelings – thoughts of people who have something to say.

To someone I knew years ago…

You pretended to be my friend and to be on my side. But you truly never were!

How naive of me to believe that we, who had nothing in common…not even a song or book we both liked would go on to become life buddies and best friends forever. When I cried, you patted and hugged me but what you were doing is making notes to share with your “other” friends over your Friday drinks. Why couldn’t I ever see through all that? When I replay old scenes doing a slow motion rewind, I realize that there were clear signs which told me to move on and find a new friend. But I did not!

Today, I am much older, it’s been over a decade and a half and we have gone our separate ways. I choose my  friends wisely and these friends and I have stuck with each other during personal moments of grief and in happier times.

I see you on social media, having fun, posting updates and with close to 1000 friends to boast of. It doesn’t bother me that you have not dropped me a line but it does bother me that you laughed at my expense, had conversations poking fun at me and today there is not a hint of recognition when we bumped into each other at the coffee shop?!

 Anyway, I am going to add this so called friendship to my list of experiences that I have collected over the last three decades. There is a lesson that I will teach my young daughter which can be applied to many areas of life and I learnt these life lessons from a friendship (?).

Don’t be afraid to make the hard decisions and don’t beat yourself up…we all live and learn…

– From a more mature human being…

Guest post writer : Aarti Iyer at http://flyingbubbles.wordpress.com/