Unposted Letters : to my future daughter on her 18th birthday

Often it happens, what is want to say to someone – remains unsaid. That silence and mum for years builds up in our hearts and minds. Here is a series of “Unposted Letters” which will feature emotions – feelings – thoughts of people who have something to say.

Dear Anya,

If you’re reading this letter,you must have turned 18 today. I really hope I’m alive and around to spend this day with you. 

I hope I’ve been busy enough to fulfil all your needs,yet not too busy to miss any of your important milestones.

I’m sure you must be wondering why I wrote this letter so much in advance!

Well,it’s because I’m about to step into the big bad world next year(I’ll be finishing college soon).This means my views haven’t been carved into the adult mould yet.I’m still a girl and not a woman.The advices I give right now will be quite different from the ones I give when I’m 40 or 50.

So what do I have to tell you? 

Honestly,there’s a never ending list,but I’ve tried my best to limit them to a few points(It’s your birthday after all,I don’t want you to keep reading all day!)And yes,do forgive me if you can’t make sense of the order in which I tell you all this.I’m still quite naïve,remember?

• Study what you want to : I really can’t guess whether you’re studying science/commerce/arts right now. But whatever it is, I hope your decision has nothing to do with pleasing me, your dad or any other relative.Remember, it’s your life, not ours. Fight for it, if you have to.

• Do some soul searching : If you can’t find your passion just yet, then take a gap year. And no, not the gap year in which you end up cramming in some coaching center. I want you to leave everything and do what you feel like. Write, travel, sing or go mountain climbing. When your mind is completely free, I’m sure you’ll find your true calling.

• Don’t try too hard to fit in : If you’re an introvert(like me), then don’t try to change yourself. Being an introvert is not a ‘condition’, it’s a gift. That of course doesn’t mean that you become anti-social. All I’m saying is if you like reading a book on Saturday night instead of partying,then it’s not abnormal.

• Relationships are just a part of life : If you’re already dating or planning to date a guy in the near future,then I need you to know something. Firstly, you can tell me and your dad.We’re ‘cool’,remember?However,don’t make him your number one priority. Relationships are just part of your life. You also have your family, friends and career to care about.

• Stay away from the ‘looks’ game : To me, you’re already the most beautiful girl in the world (and I haven’t even seen you!). However, if you feel that you aren’t fair, tall or pretty enough, then start looking for the other talents that you’ve been gifted with.Maybe you’re a Math Queen, Physics Empress, Poem Diva or Sports Star. Physical beauty is just one of the many other attributes that one can be endowed with. 

As I said,I don’t want to bore you with lots of reading on your birthday.There are few other things I want to tell you,but I guess I’ll save that for another time. 

I hope you had a great time reading this letter.I can’t force you but I hope you follow at least some of them.Now go  running back to the living room.Dad, Aryak, Duke and of course I have a surprise in store for you!

Loads of love,

Mom.

Guest post writer : Srishti Singh. See her blog here.

A smile said it all- she realized her mistake!

Around 2 years back, I got heavily scolded by my mom for pulling back to roadside a kid who strayed away to the middle of street while playing.

She scolded me because according to her, that job was of the kid’s mom, who at that time was busy bargaining at a roadside shop, just like us. My mom said, if the mom of that kid was careless, she should learn than lesson, I should not step in to do her job!

I hated her inside my heart, to say such a thing! Because when I pulled that girl back to safe area, she smiled at me. And guess what, even her mom smiled, and I felt she realized her mistake. There was no need to get that kid hurt to make her mom realize her mistake.

The smile said it all, she was thankful I stepped in to take care of her daughter while she splurged into shopping, taking a break from her routine housewife-duties.

And I rolled my eyes at my not-so-happy-with-my-actions mom and carried on with the rest of shopping. I knew this moment is etched into my memory for a long time.

Morning Blues!

I realized the actual meaning of this phrase, much after I started working full-time. The transition from campus to corporate, they said, was difficult. But I (now) say it was DRAMTIC – intensity of drama varying from person to person.

As a school kid I wished to grow up in a jiffy, and go to college. As a college freshman, I dreamt to get a satisfying (socially, mentally, monetarily) job. And then, as an employed big-girl, I started to search further, what is my dream?

Now here came the DRAMA part. I have a well-paying job, a loving family, a caring life partner, a decent social status. So where do I invest my energy, my dreams, my thoughts, and (at times) my money?

After some days of meaningless social networking, my mind was gushed with plethora of Plans I had made in my younger years, which now seems like a previous life. So I start following my heart to fulfill some-if-not-all my yet-to-be-accomplished dreams.

Eventually, just like the clouds after a storm, my head cleared of all drama – the transitions I was going through: campus-to-corporate, girl-to-woman.

While competing in corporate rat-race, the one which fetches us a handsome status in the society, we forget what we really love-what we really should be doing. We get trapped in our own cocoon of responsibilities, aims and goals. Only when WE pop that bubble OURSELVES, we are exposed to other opportunities – the ones which helps us through this journey in a healthier spirit.

Well, I try breaking out of my schedule more than once a week. And take a complete break from work on the weekend. But my morning blues still persist. After all, who wants to go operate some electrical machines after an exciting weekend of shopping, decorating, cooking and blogging? 😀

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