FEAR : an analysis

It is undeniable that we humans live in constant fear.

However much confident, independent, solitary or loved we are, there exist an ounce of fear within each of us. The fear some share openly, the fear some hide mysteriously, the fear some admit consciously and the fear some know unconsciously..

So what are these fears?

I made a small list of my own here, trying to explore different types of fear found in the deepest corners of our hearts.

1. Fear of losing a loved one

This is the most commonly found fear in humans. Maybe in animals too, but I haven’t thought about that (yet).

Be it a person fearing his/her old ailing parent would die soon. Or a teenager head over heels in love with someone, fearing its just infatuation and won’t last. Fear of losing a loved one stirs up anyone – even if they claim they’re emotionally strong. Losing a child or spouse or parent / grandparent is the most natural fear, and natural because it is defectively installed in us to love our family. The ones who nurture us over the years, the ones who stand by us all along.

fear of losing a loved one

They say break-ups are hard, because even lovers become emotionally attached, falling prey into the fear of losing each other. This type of fear in fact, causes many other issues like being possessive, over protective or addicted.

Fear of losing a friend is also found in many. Some friendships do last long, but some are lost in the sands of time.

2. Fear of being lonely

Man is a social animal, which needs to be occasionally, if not constantly, fed with emotional interactions with others.
The fear of being lonely results in actions like seeking attention from family/peers, be always surrounded by people, or even being a party animal.

All these, and even more circumstances signify that people have a need to interact with others. And devoid of it causes mental imbalance too.

Nobody wants to be lonely. Its i different thing, to be alone for a while – to maybe sort out a problem, or think peacefully. Solitude is essential, but prolonged solitude is harsh on a person.

fear of being alone

Moreover, as there is a saying – with sharing, happiness multiplies and sadness decreases. To be not able to share and celebrate one’s happiness is disheartening, and similarly, not being able to share the burden of a problem or worry also consumes a person from inside.

Hence everyone has a close-knit circle of family and friends, and the idea of losing them is always scary.

3. Fear of failure

Failing to meet expectation, repercussions of not meeting a deadline, losses of a failed project or continuous bad luck/timing – all these are perfect examples of fear of failure.

Giving up a dream because it doesn’t seen feasible, not taking up a task or not taking risks in a project/investment – these also imply that we are scared of failure.

fear of failure

Success matters so much, that we resent on miscalculating and not take an unplanned step. Uncalculated decisions taken without much weighing of matters can cause failure, but it is short-term only. For the long race, it teaches us what not to do which adds on to our experience and wisdom.

Staying on shore won’t fetch you pearls. And staying aboard won’t give you the experience of swimming. So dive in!

4. Fear of being judged

This is fairly common too, in all age groups.

A student might not raise a doubt in class, because he is embarrassed that it might be a foolish doubt and what others might think of him. A high school student hides from his peers that he writes romantic poems, because he fears they’ll laugh at him. A college graduate looks at the mirror before stepping out of his room, because he doesn’t want to be the laughing-stock. A manager doesn’t suggest improvements because he doubts if they’ll be implemented or even considered, and the management might dismiss him saying its a waste of time. A professor throws out a student from his class because of asking an irrelevant question, but actually because he dint know the explanation for it.

fear of being judged

There can be a million instances in everybody’s life, when we act according to others. Because we fear what will others think. How many people have you seen singing in the public openly? Very less right? That’s because they fear they’ll be laughed at, or looked down upon, or be stared at.

We judge others and we are scared of being judged. It’s a vicious cycle which needs to stop.

5. Fear of conscious

A famous person once wrote, I sleep peacefully at night because I have a clear conscience.

If you haven’t borrowed or stolen, why will you fear anyone? Who can harm you, unless you have harmed someone? The inner voice won’t leave you alone if you know you’re guilty.

That is the power of conscience. It’s not in self-control. We can’t shut the constant nagging of our mind reminding us of our sin.

fear of conscience

This fear of conscience, I say, is the best fear. Because it keep a check on us, guarding us from our own deeds and protecting us from decisions we might regret.

If such a fear of karma exists in all of us, this world would be such a peaceful place to live in.

6. Fear of death

The biggest truth of our life is death. Even though death is inevitable, there isn’t a soul who accepts it wholeheartedly. Everyone wants to live just a little longer.

Maybe the old and ailing wish to end their lives, and the ones who commit suicide don’t actually know the worth of this beautiful gift called life, but for the rest of us the fear of death doesn’t go.
Even our cultures and religions don’t preach us particularly to accept death with open arms with a smile on our face.

Indeed, our holy books narrate about the wonderful afterlife, lure us towards the glorious heaven and tell us how angels will take care of us, but these hardly leave an everlasting impression on our minds to fight or curb the fear of death.

fear of death

Maybe I am wrong, but at least I haven’t read anything which tells people to give up the life and be dead instead. The holy books can guide us, how to lead our lives, so that when we die we don’t suffer (in death or life after death). They can even tell us how committing sins will hinder our transfer to the other side of death. But none can teach us how to accept the ultimate destination of death.

Some people don’t travel by airways, some avoid water, some prefer walking than sitting in a machine called car and some just keep bodyguards. All because they love their life and don’t want to die.

To a certain extent, this emotion is justified. We humans make emotional bonds with not just living beings but also non living things. So just the fear of leaving it all behind does stir up some unpleasant feeling.

But how far can we fight death?

7. Fear of future

Got final term exam tomorrow? Or results?
Or a thesis presentation?
Or maybe an appointment with your manager?
Or a meeting with your employees to tell them their allowances are reduced?
Or maybe its your baby’s first day at school?
Or a new collection of clothes releasing tomorrow?

And are you having butterflies in your stomach? Not able to sleep?

Well my friend, then like all of us you are excited and maybe fearing the future.

fear of future

There is one thing to look forward to future – which is a positive aspect. Because you have worked hard for it, and you know nothing went wrong and you did it all absolutely correct. Then you look forward to future, waiting for the fruitful results.

But if you have doubts, you are not confident or you’re confused, you have done something wrong, crossed someone, they you fear your future. Because you worry what hell might break loose tomorrow!

As to how to avoid this, I really don’t know. Maybe with a clean conscience. But then, actors or fashion designers etc they do their hard work, but they fear the critics and audience on day of release. That has got nothing to do with conscience because an unknown factor is judging you and deciding your fate. Conscience has no play then.

8. Phobia

Google can list more than 100 types of phobias found in people.

See here for the complete list.

Some are afraid of the dark, some are afraid of being lonely, and some are scared of crowd. This is a play of hormones in a person’s body, in my opinion.

As far as I know there isn’t a cure of phobia or other types of fears for that matter. And definitely there is a limit to which one can control his or her mind. Lets agree not all of us have a tactful control on our minds and hearts. Then how do we deal with fears?

faith-vs-fear

Faith. Facing the true facts, looking right into the eyes of our fear, and keeping in mind the truth of our living, may help some fight some of these fears. And that is what therapy also does. It makes us believe in ourselves. Believe that we are the sole writers of our fate, destiny, life and death. And come what may, we have the strength to face it.

Live life in each moment with whatever you have around. Maybe lesser people tomorrow, maybe fewer loved ones by your side, but its you my friend who decide the terms and conditions for your life. Tomorrow I may die or I be so embarrassed that I wish to die. But at this moment I live this moment. With no fear. With no fear.

somthing-to-lose

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Musings from Rajasthan – India

home

The largest state of India – Rajasthan accounts for more than 10% of India’s surface area on the globe. Rajasthan is the only Indian State that has captured the imagination of the people, rulers and invaders through the ages as well as tourists both national and international.

painting

Above is a painting by my super talented aunt. It truly depicts the exotic and vibrant nature of this state, a culture that has retained the very essence of the bygone royal era.

decoration, rajasthan

Rajasthan was dominantly ruled for over 1000 years by the Rajputs, a warrior clan who claim descent from the sun, the moon and the flames of a sacrificial fire. They have a strict sense of honor and chivalry similar to that of the medieval European Knights and preferred to die an honorable death rather than face defeat at the hands of the enemy.rajasthan

India’s oldest mountain range as the backdrop; feast your eyes on spectacular sand dunes, take the tiger trail, or just watch the birds in the wetlands. Rajasthan offers it all.

rajasthani painting

Rajasthan is culturally rich and has extensive tradition in art and culture, which reflects the Indian way of life. The dance, music and art forms have been consciously cultivated and patronized by the erstwhile royal courts. An equally rich and varied folk culture from villages is both fascinating and mesmerizing. The music is of uncomplicated innocence and songs depict day-to-day relationships and chores, more often about the bringing of water. Rajasthan’s cultural tapestry takes in simple folk to highly cultivated classical music and dance, in its own distinct style.

Ganesh JI

Rajasthan has a rich tradition of cuisines – for this land of princes had some of the finest cooks in the palaces. The common-folk also took epicurean delight in the culinary art. Aptly has it been said that the royal kitchens of Rajasthan raised the preparation of food to the level of a sublime art.

Generally, Rajasthani curries are brilliant red but not as spicy as they look. Most Rajasthani cuisine uses pure Ghee (clarified butter) as a means of cooking.

decoration at home

Rajasthan is often portrayed as one vast open-air museum, with its relics so well preserved that it delights even the most skeptical traveler.

Other Fun links :

travel to Rajasthan – why?

facts and figures

wiki page

myths from Rajasthan – movie

Rajasthan Tourism

The wonderful childhood

Kids are cute.

Swings are fun.

You combine both-you get a perfect carefree scenario with laughter all around.

One such incident I was lucky to capture in my camera.

IMG_1639

You really should zoom in and check out the expressions of the kids. So excited and keen they got seeing someone click their pics 😀

Well I had an attachment to a particular swing in my childhood. I have written about it too. See here.

Other clicks of the same kids : they were called Nanu and Kaachu 😉

IMG_1618

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# such cuties 😀 😀 😀

# Venue – Alwar‘s (Siliserh Lake) Rajasthan, India

# December 2012 – the one we survived (LOL)

Levels of excitement

This post will start with a journey through pictures in order to reveal the different levels of excitement buid up in me; courtesy my blogs sakshivashist.wordpress.com and cruisingthroughmylife.wordpress.com

5 likes SV 5 likes C 10 likes SV 10 likes C

5 follows SV 10 follows SV 20 follows SV 5 follows C

20 likes SV 20 likes C 50 likes SV 50 likes C 100 likes SV 100 likes C 50 follows SV 50 follows C 200 likes SV 200 likes C 100 follows SV 200 follows SV 100 follows C 200 follows C 500 likes C500 likes SV 500 follows C 1000 likes SV

Yes…I was absolutely out of words and speechless after I got my “1000 total likes” star, that I decided to print_screen all the previous accolades and copy paste them after editing- upload them here and then it finally started to sink in.

WOW!!!!

I mean, seriously, till an year back I was saying to myself- who has time and patience to blog. And now I don’t miss out on replying to even one comment. It is now a habit to check for pending comments and reply to them before 3 days (at the max).

And I have 2 freaking blogs!!!! Its a double trouble – as I say to my friends. 😉

But yes, apart from becoming an ardent fan of blogging, I have started pursuing others to start blogging too. 😀

Thank you all the people out there who ever visited my blog- or passed by it by just clicking on a “Follow” or “Like” button. It gives me a reason to wake up in the morning and gives me a reason to sleep at night.

I can tell, many people clicked on “Like” without even reading my poetry or understanding it or connecting with my random musings, but I sincerely feel it gives me a boost to reach out to more people, write of more worthy things, make memories and be more expressive and yet never run out on things to talk about. 😉

That is all. I rest my case.

Forever,

the.New.Chatterbox.in.BlogTown

A look at Blog Stats *wide smile*

Its 2013.

A look at my current STATS 😉

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Blog 1 : cruisingthroughmylife.wordpress.com

Posts : 34
Tags : 260
Comments : 642
Views : 5670
Followers : 1121

cruising

Country Views :

cruising - stats

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Blog number 2 – sakshivashist.wordpress.com

Posts : 57
Tags : 222
Comments : 713
Views : 6364
Followers : 985

sakshivashist

Country Views :

sv-stats

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#dated 17th Dec’12

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Points to be noted :

1. The world painted in ORANGE looks cooool 😀

2. Whatever be the stats – I am so so glad I got such a positive response. 

3. Thankful to WordPress for creating such an awesome site!!! 😉

Analysis of my 2012

 

new year 2012

So, we haven’t died and its almost the end of this superb year 2012. 😉

Whoever suggested the world will end, kindly tell me the new date to look forward to. I mean, seriously, I was waiting for something to happen, something bigger than a Tsumani or Katrina.

So, I understand lots and lots and lots of things have happened this year – but as part of me keeping a journal of 2012 I am going to pen down whatever I can remember now of my past one year.
Like I said in the “My Purpose” section, I want to remember the good things and cherish them even after a few years. A pity – I have a not-so-good memory so I have a very few things to say about each month.

january

It was New Year – YAY!

Ordered for a new phone and got it delivered – double YAY!!

february

A dull Valentine’s but sent out a few gifts

Came to know about options in MBA from India

marchFlew home (Qatar) for Holi and spent it with family

Got visited by my dad later in the month

Introduced my bosses to my dad and my work environment

aprilA memorable trip taken 😉

mayDecided to <finally> pursue MBA

Started studying for it too (sigh)

juneThe dreadful summers – long hours of job and tiresome running around my power plant

julyAlmost an end of summers – and my will to work long hours

I completed my one year at my company – YAY!

Got my so called hike

Met with my best best buddy before he left for Minnesota

augustI started a new blog – this blog 😀

And I started knowing MN better

septemberA superb response for the blog

Started updating poetry on my other blog too – frequently that too

Time was flying by – form my MBA entrance exams

octoberI left my job, left the city I lived in – without even meeting the people I worked with

Came back to India

Wrote CAT 

novemberCelebrated Diwali with two of my mom’s sisters and partially in the train

I turned 23 😉

Filled a dozen application forms and wrote 2 other exams

decemberGot blog awards – Blog of the year 2012 1 and 2, Liebster Blog Award, Reality Blog Awards,  

Understood the importance of Thanksgiving

Realized I haven’t died yet 😉

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So, officially, it will be an end to 2012. Secretly I am smiling inside, cuz I never thought I will be writing so frequently on this blog – but I am! Looks like the WordPress experience has been a great one 😉

So, in the good spirits and an open mind and heart for 2013, I hereby declare the end of this 2012!

2013

a revisit to the land of FAIRY TALES

A few days back, my mother referred to herself as fairy godmother. While we notorious kids laughed at her, there was a pinch on truth in what she said.

Fairy tales. We have all heard them. But when I started writing this post, I could not list more than 4-5 I remembered. My list was:

1. Snow white  and the seven Dwarfs

snow white and 7 dwarfs

2. Aladdin

aladdin

3. Red Riding Hood

red riding hood

4. Cinderella

cinderella

5. Rapunzel

rapunzel

When I hit the Google, I found a huge list of fairy tales. So I could fish for a dozen more fairy tales- the I have heard before sleeping at night. I loved those tales, all of them. The idea of happy ending lingered on even after the tender years of childhood. Thanks to my mom, and her reference to herself 😉

So as a tribute to her, I made a list of qualities of the Fairy Godmother, as told by Disney. And compared with my mom 😉

  • Personality :
  1. Sweet – Check
  2. Kind – Check
  3. Motherly – Check
  4. A bit absent-minded – Check
  • Appearance :
  1. Short – Check (she is the shortest in the family)
  2. Obese – Check (not really – but we love to call her that)
  3. Elderly – Check 
  4. White hair – Check (a few only actually)
  5. Aqua robe with pink inside hood, large lavender bow on the front – hahahahaha NO
  • Occupation : Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother (in retrospect, she does that for a living)
  • Goal : To help Cinderella , To look after Cinderella (Oh, she does that all day long)

Thanks to her, I re-visited my sweet memories. The blissful age of going to sleep without tension of tomorrow. The splendid age of no worries and a belief in perfect endings. The fun age to compare ourselves to the protagonist fairy 😉

Oh, well, that fun age isn’t gone I feel. I mean, aren’t a few of us still waiting for our prince charming 😉

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Interesting links :

a fairy tale on YouTube 😀

Fairy God Mother on Twitter 😉

a cute website on FairyGod Mother 

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# thanks to the illustrations which I found here