Unposted Letters : to my future daughter on her 18th birthday


Often it happens, what is want to say to someone – remains unsaid. That silence and mum for years builds up in our hearts and minds. Here is a series of “Unposted Letters” which will feature emotions – feelings – thoughts of people who have something to say.

Dear Anya,

If you’re reading this letter,you must have turned 18 today. I really hope I’m alive and around to spend this day with you. 

I hope I’ve been busy enough to fulfil all your needs,yet not too busy to miss any of your important milestones.

I’m sure you must be wondering why I wrote this letter so much in advance!

Well,it’s because I’m about to step into the big bad world next year(I’ll be finishing college soon).This means my views haven’t been carved into the adult mould yet.I’m still a girl and not a woman.The advices I give right now will be quite different from the ones I give when I’m 40 or 50.

So what do I have to tell you? 

Honestly,there’s a never ending list,but I’ve tried my best to limit them to a few points(It’s your birthday after all,I don’t want you to keep reading all day!)And yes,do forgive me if you can’t make sense of the order in which I tell you all this.I’m still quite naïve,remember?

• Study what you want to : I really can’t guess whether you’re studying science/commerce/arts right now. But whatever it is, I hope your decision has nothing to do with pleasing me, your dad or any other relative.Remember, it’s your life, not ours. Fight for it, if you have to.

• Do some soul searching : If you can’t find your passion just yet, then take a gap year. And no, not the gap year in which you end up cramming in some coaching center. I want you to leave everything and do what you feel like. Write, travel, sing or go mountain climbing. When your mind is completely free, I’m sure you’ll find your true calling.

• Don’t try too hard to fit in : If you’re an introvert(like me), then don’t try to change yourself. Being an introvert is not a ‘condition’, it’s a gift. That of course doesn’t mean that you become anti-social. All I’m saying is if you like reading a book on Saturday night instead of partying,then it’s not abnormal.

• Relationships are just a part of life : If you’re already dating or planning to date a guy in the near future,then I need you to know something. Firstly, you can tell me and your dad.We’re ‘cool’,remember?However,don’t make him your number one priority. Relationships are just part of your life. You also have your family, friends and career to care about.

• Stay away from the ‘looks’ game : To me, you’re already the most beautiful girl in the world (and I haven’t even seen you!). However, if you feel that you aren’t fair, tall or pretty enough, then start looking for the other talents that you’ve been gifted with.Maybe you’re a Math Queen, Physics Empress, Poem Diva or Sports Star. Physical beauty is just one of the many other attributes that one can be endowed with. 

As I said,I don’t want to bore you with lots of reading on your birthday.There are few other things I want to tell you,but I guess I’ll save that for another time. 

I hope you had a great time reading this letter.I can’t force you but I hope you follow at least some of them.Now go  running back to the living room.Dad, Aryak, Duke and of course I have a surprise in store for you!

Loads of love,

Mom.

Guest post writer : Srishti Singh. See her blog here.

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31 thoughts on “Unposted Letters : to my future daughter on her 18th birthday

  1. What I see over and over again is dad was just too busy paying respect to status, others expectations. Something they must stop drowing in so they can be amazing too. Dad never taking time from living for others opinons of them.

  2. Wow …. nice….. and i must say I would have loved to have got such a letter on my 18th birthday 😉

  3. Great post! I love those advice “Don’t try too hard to fit in” and “Relationships are just a part of life”. Those indeed are really useful and thoughtful advice for a young woman 🙂

  4. Very interesting…
    We have spoken to our children, especially the eldest, who has recently turned 18 about all of the points you’ve made.
    Great post. 🙂

  5. This is a wonderful idea. I have an 11 year old daughter and I constantly tell her just be yourself. Your Dad and I will not judge you as you make your way in the world.

  6. Very wise words! This post really spoke to me…I have two grown daughters and sometimes still do feel there is so much I want to say to them….but not sure how…

    • I believe you should talk to them.Tell them all you want to say.Since you have a blog,you can write something of this sort for them.However,there are a lot of personal things that you can’t share on a public forum.Heart-to-heart conversation always works.My mum does that quite often.And although it does become somewhat ’emotional’,it’s nice to know about her feelings 🙂

  7. Thanks a lot everyone for the wonderful comments.And thank you Sakshi for coming up with the idea of guest posts for letters.It’s really sweet that people are getting inspired by the series 🙂

  8. I’m no parent at this point in my life but this post’s words ring true and can be applied to any individual’s upbringing from youth into adulthood. I appreciate the like on my post and for this great letter. Be well, Sakshi.

    A

  9. Sakshi, Thanks, for reading my post “No dumbing down”. I love this letter to your future daughter and I hope in the future you are blessed with a daughter “Anya” and she reads this and know what a wonderful, thoughtful mom she has. 🙂 Congratulations! On your graduation…

  10. Pingback: Dear Anya.. | Maintaining Sanity

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