Never borrow never lend, if you want to keep a friend.


I could not agree more. Whoever said beg, borrow, steal was a way out, was not living in today’s world.

We all know a person’s attire gives in a sense of his personality. Many ever believe shoes tell you about a person. In fact, that is the sole reason why candidates appearing for an interview dress their best.

But what if this “look” and “personality” is borrowed? Can you imagine how deceptive it can be!

individuality
Because we, in general, are receptive to another persons look and dressing, it may lead us to wrong conclusions if the appearance is faked. And, it won’t be wrong in saying that clothes, make up, footwear and hair style can change the way one looks. Very easily that too.

A perfect example of that being the world of cinema. Actors and actresses adopt various looks for a particular film, which change movie after movie. I still remember our talented Miss World turned actress Priyanka Chopra in the Bollywood movie What’s your Rashee. It depicted Miss PC in 12 different avatars based on the common star signs. And everyone would agree, the make up artist and costume designer did a fantastic job.

Priyanka Chopra

And that’s not just about the movie world. In reality too, people carry themselves off as someone else.

For this, let me give a simple example. Girl 1, from a mediocre background, a newly independent citizen. Girl 2, a little better off.Β For a party, 1 borrows from 2 a dress and a pair of heels. Later, photos of them surface up on Facebook.

Someone had commented on 1‘s incredible dressing sense, how fabulous she looks in a dress, how the dress is completely made for her.Β 2 was amused by the way 1 floated around after the newly found love of others appreciation.Β 

For a next event too, 1 borrows her look from 2. Stingy in investing in a dress and presuming borrowing is the best shine out for a night, 1 continued this habit for a continued period of time, over which her financial status was not as middle-class as before. But habits, they say, are hard to let go.

Soon, 2 realized 1 was taking an advantage of her. And without much verbal conflict, the distance between them started growing.

borrowing clothes

Well, I don’t know how else this story ends, firstly because it’s absolutely fictitious and made up entirely to relate to this topic. Secondly because, it’s about girls. You cannot be sure how they ended things and what their verbal conversation might have been. Also, I took the liberty to exemplify this with girls because I don’t think men fight over these petty issues. (Or maybe I am wrong) πŸ˜€

What I believe is, its good to change the way you look or carry yourself. It’s also okay to borrow once in a while, in case of fashion emergencies. But do not depend on others to remake or to create your own personality.

Maybe initially you might get successful in creating an impression you want to, but eventually who you exactly are will surface.Β 

your personality

So invest in yourself. If you cannot buy expensive stuff, at least be presentable with what you can afford. And smile. It makes a huge lot of difference in the way you look.

Cheers.

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69 thoughts on “Never borrow never lend, if you want to keep a friend.

  1. i say be Proud of who are .. why fake ur personality.? person have developed inferiority complex and have low self esteem.. andare attention seekers do fake their personality.
    and yeah attire may be deceptive and can reflect ones personality.
    altogether a good post.

  2. Sakshi Ji… once again a new post with different perspective on the very famous issue “Looks etc” Today the world is really distracted heavily by the media campaigns of famous brands like Allen Solly, Biba etc which says “Its your right to be beautiful” as if your whole life depends on how you attire.

    Famous people like Vivekananda and Mother Teresa spread their ideals only thru their powerful charisma and not their attire. Yet people still think being glamourous is the only way to appear confident amongst the crowd. While in reality its not at all true.

    Happy Blogging…

    Regards,
    Ambika

    • very well put…and exemplified…somehow those examples din’t click in my mind when I was writing, and now when I think of it..so many brands use the “looks” and “beauty” tag to promote their items..

  3. Borrowing could be more ecological and sustainable though. Instead of always buying new clothes. I have to admit I hate shopping. A friend of mine has a closet full of nice dresses and she offers to borrow them any time I want (haven’t borrowed yet though). I think personalities are always a bit borrowed, because you learn them growing up from other people’s reflections of you. Maybe we could loosen up a bit with the ego and ownership etc.

  4. Well at uni we had one black skirt between 3 of us as we couldn’t afford more – there was often ‘discussions’ as to who got to wear it on Sat night… as for wear who you are, this works when you don’t need that job any more – you can be the eccentric OLD lady in purple but be careful about your nose rings when looking for a job in a conservative type office. Dress to match… or blend in. thanks for visiting my blog. Do come again and comment too…

  5. Hi Shakti, Thank you for dropping by my very new blog and taking the time to be there! I am grateful πŸ™‚

    I love this post about appearances. When we are born, we are naked, no baby ever argues over what outfit it wants to wear! All these imaginations we create to complexify our life, huh? Love your blog, it’s a great read, I’ve enjoyed everything I’ve clicked on so far πŸ™‚

    • Oh thank you for so generously reading my posts…much appreciate your point of view..we come in this world without clothing and eventually it becomes such an imp that that people write in their wills what would they like to be buried in…

  6. that last sentence nailed it. A smile is THE most attractive thing a person can put on–and it draws in others like a magnet–especially the sincere. πŸ™‚ <<here is one for you! (and I always disliked lending clothes; they never returned in the same shape…sometimes quite literally!)

    • so true! one girl I lent a dress to…she said she washed it before returning…but I don’t know how she did because I could smell her perfume and see the remains of her talc on my dress…it left me disgusted.
      maybe they were remains of washing powder or whatever, but I decided to wash it again and never lend to her in future!

  7. Favorite line: “And smile. It makes a huge lot of difference in the way you look.”…so true! i love this post. What you shared was quite accurate, and I think it’s easy to go there, especially during the college years…but really, at some point we have to simply do great with what we’ve got…or get a little bit more creative as we go through the process of “redefining” ourselves.

  8. Really insightful post. With how much information is out there and how fast it can spread with today’s technology, it’s so easy to borrow/steal something and pretend it’s our own, or at least fail to give credit where it’s due.

  9. This is such a true statement. I know of a particular time where we let some of my family use us to there advantage, quite frequently. It is such a terrible thing to have to deal with not to mention the fact that when they do, it makes it hard for you to carry on conversations with them at family gatherings or want to do things with them at all. Thus, like you said, distance begins to happen.

  10. I agree you shouldn’t make a habit of borrowing, lest you inconvenience the friend you borrow from. However, I don’t see it as faking. You choose what you borrow so that choice reflects your personality.
    Thanks for stopping by The Brass Rag. Come back and see us again soon.

  11. We should also remember the line from Hamlet,

    Neither a borrower nor a lender be;

    I think it fits in well in this context, and of course many others. Shakespeare is like that.

    To thine own self be true.

  12. Hello Shakshi! Thank you for liking my blog. Actually, I have another blog that is totally aligned with this profound post. If you like, take a look: http://mysignature.tv. It’s purpose is to guide women on a self discovery and personal branding process that aligns women with their true nature and the values they want to bring to the world.

    I think that personal style is an intrinsic part of expressing who we are. It is only when we know who we are that we can develop a personal style that is all our own. Your story about the two friends is probably only a story because you don’t happen to know two women like this, however, I am certain they exist. I feel compassion for girl number 1. She is for the first time, having the opportunity to be her own woman. Only, at this point she doesn’t know who that woman is. She is not alone. There are a lot of us in this situation. I myself was there a few years back.

    Great post and I really like how you are expressing your true nature through your wonderful writing. Amanda

  13. You are so right. There is one dress I wear that makes me look so young people ask me where my mother is when I’m wearing it. Seriously the first thing people know about me is what they see. Sure they could get to know me by talking to me but ya, appearance says a lot!

    In fact I find that people will automatically treat you by their preconceptions of you (by what you look like), even before they bother talking to you! Sometimes I change my look drastically and the difference in how people respond to different looks is REALLY noticable.

  14. Men fight over petty more then any do. !!!!!!!!!!!They all fight over which one will always control each petty. Which makes them more pitiful then the female gender ever was. The more petty they want to control the pettier they become. Men have more petty price tags that I have ever seen, experinced, before.They make everything meanless when they reach for control over it all. The more petty you have, teh more petty you want, the more meaningless you become.

    As far as loans. I say if I care to just give it to them, I will. If I dont care to, you don’t get.

  15. A fun and quick post.

    I’ve gone through some of the comments and agree with what some have said, it’s sometimes hard to be authentic. Even a smile nowadays is commonly faked.

    Nevertheless, you do write something that would make me wake up, look at my clothes, and sell the “me” image

    Good article πŸ™‚

  16. G’day Sakshi,

    Interesting take on the topic, I don’t feel appearance gives a sustainable perception of a personality for very long. Natural demeanour has a tendency to shine through any pretence sooner rather than later

  17. From Shakespeare (“habit” is olde English for clothing) this quoteβ€”

    “Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,
    But not expressed in fancy; rich, not gaudy:
    For the apparel oft proclaims the man.
    Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
    For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
    And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.”

    Covers two bases, and nothing much has changed since then …

  18. something similar happened to me back in 2008. I had a newly found BFF. The common factors between the two of us were we were hitting on the same guy and we were both into blogging. Orkut was a fad back then and I had written a testimony for her: A**nt* is a devil and I am not lying. OMG!!! did you know the following morning she received 15 more testimonies and everyone had replied on my testimony. In fact, she smiled from one end of her face to another and said how many of her friends wanted my number so that they can tell me what a lovely girl A**nt* was. I was SHOCKED…I mean WTF…its just a testimony and that too on a social networking site. Then, A**nt* wrote a blog post on the whole thing and I received a lot of negative publicity. πŸ™‚ I have stopped commenting on anyone’s anything on social networking sites because some people make it their true life.

    pss: I know this is not anyways linked to your post…

  19. You are probably correct… personally if i had a guy friend that asked to borrow clothing more than once I’d start to think something is wrong with him. I’ve never know guys to share clothes on a continual basis.

    But I agree deception is something to be avoided, if at all possible.

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